Nerdnote #155: thoughts on parenthood and suicidal/self-harm fantasies
Tuesday, October 17, 2023 1:43pm

Today I am thinking about how much of parenting is a practice of self-regulation. Now that I have a one-year-old, I am constantly talking myself down, talking myself (and others) through the consequences of allowing my child to live her life, getting out of the way while she explores new skills, tries solutions that I know won't work, take risks that make my uterus and vulva twist in dismay.

Nerdnote #147: on grief and MRI results
Wednesday, June 14, 2023 9:15pm

It's my baby's birthday today. She's one.

Her Auntie Nora is visiting from Tennessee this weeek, and they are currently watching ...Ru Paul's Drag Race? with her other mom in the livingroom. I am sitting alone in the kitchen with the remains of Larb Thai dinner and my thoughts on grief and injury.

I handed her off a few minutes ago when she spotted the black cat image on Dr Kelsey's CleanPro cat kibble bag tucked up in the top shelf of our pantry and got all excited, thinking it was our black cat Catapult, who passed away three weeks and two days ago.

I rolled my right ankle Monday morning while hiking the Lower Jordan Fire Trail in the Berkeley hills in the misty not quite rain. I was able to limp back to the car, leaning on my partner…